That moment you’re on a roller coaster and you’re about to hit a frightening loop. That ache in the pit of your stomach is back – but this time it rushes up through your heart. It feels like it grasps at your throat. Causing you to cry out in pain with a voice you’ve never heard before. Tears explode through you. You hyperventilate.
And in that moment…you just feel helpless.
I’m literally sitting here, struggling to find the words to begin this post. Maybe I’m just a big bag of emotions. OK, that’s basically me all of the time, but right now, they’re getting the best of me. Yesterday, we laid my beautiful grandma to rest.
No, this is not a deja vu. Yes, I’ve written a few times about finding and expressing your personal style. I’ve shared my own tips and even some from my blogger amigas. And no matter what, I always stress the point of wearing what you want and what you love. But, you should also know that how you dress and what you wear does not define who you are as a person. No matter how many times someone feels the need to remind you.
This post is sponsored by Kmart.
I talk to my mom on the phone almost every day. I can honestly say, each conversation takes on a life of it’s own. We don’t always agree on things and we will sometimes butt heads. I love her beyond words, but man we are so much alike it’s scary. It seems like every time I open my mouth, I say something and I sound just like her. In fact, I think I might actually be turning into her.
We live in a world where people want to be anyone but themselves. Constantly putting themselves down, copying others, and not being true to who they really are. It makes me sad when I see a woman desperately trying to change who she is in order to fit into what society thinks is “beautiful.” I get it. It’s hard. We want to be accepted. And it doesn’t help that we are bombarded with messages that tell us what we should look like and how we should dress. Believe me, I work really hard to not fall into the trap myself. But, I’m only human. Sometimes, I need to remind myself to just be me.
What can I say about fear and self-doubt that we don’t know already? Yes, it sucks and it’s totally normal to feel both. Come on…we wouldn’t be considered human if we didn’t. And it never fails that these two always seem to pop up when there’s an opportunity for me to try something I’ve never done before.
I love this photo that my friend Reah took of me on a rooftop in New York City. It definitely wasn’t a planned pose. I just remember thinking how cold it was, but also how happy I was to be in one of my favorite cities. I’ve realized I made that happen. I’m responsible for that moment. And ever since learning of this year’s theme of International Women’s Day, #MakeItHappen, I couldn’t help but reflect on this photo and the consequences that lead me here.