Last night, I was laying in bed and I couldn’t sleep (again). I grabbed my phone and started messing around on Twitter. As I scrolled through the tweets, a phrase popped in my head. “Be yourself. Be confident. Be brave.” I tweeted it out, closed my eyes, and fell asleep. It was like I just had to get it out. This morning I wake up, and I realize how vital this phrase is in my life right now.
We live in a world where there are so many expectations from our family, friends, and even strangers. Even as a blogger, I know there are people out there who want me to be what they think I should be. I’ve come to realize that the only person I need to make happy first…is myself. And realistically, even that is hard to do sometimes. But, I know that as long as I stay true to who I am as a person and do what I need to for me, then I’m on my way. Yes, it’s about being selfish, but in a good and healthy way. How can you be there for someone else, when you haven’t taken care of you first? Do what YOU want to do…what YOU need to do…and the rest will fall in place.
Oh confidence…you’re a tricky one. There’s nothing like having faith or assurance in yourself. That feeling of being able to conquer the world. Then you’re asked to do something you don’t feel comfortable with or scared to try. I’m not going to lie. I have been there many times…how about yesterday? Yup…my confidence flew out the window. I have to know that there will be many missed opportunities because I didn’t think I could accomplish something. As hard as I’ve tried in the past, sometimes it just gets the best of me. I’m human. But, the truth of the matter is I’m screwing myself over. No one else gets hurt here—just me when I’m not confident in myself and my abilities. That’s what it comes down to.
I hate being afraid. I really do. Fear is one of the most horrible feelings that I’ve ever experienced, next to sadness. It literally takes a hold of your confidence and just plays around with it like some kind of ravenous beast. Not a pretty picture and way too common. I’m no psychiatrist. I can’t tell you why we fear things in life, but I know it’s a battle and there’s no other way for me to win than to fight back. I want to be brave and conquer the things that hinder me in life. I want to win the battle. One day I’m going to be so brave that fear is going to be afraid of me!
If you’re reading this post, then you’ve probably realized how much these three play a part with each other. How they go hand-in-hand-in-hand. I know life isn’t easy. I know that sometimes it’s easier said than done. But, if you even take a little bit from what I wrote here, then that in itself is a huge accomplishment. I know what it’s like to try and please others, lack confidence, and to be afraid.
This morning it was announced that I was selected as a group of bloggers to attend a special expedition with The American Latino Heritage Fund. I along with three other bloggers (and amazing friends) will be going on an adventure in the Glen Canyon National Recreation Area. At first I was extremely excited, then like a normal human being I started to doubt myself and fear showed up. I know I’m not an outdoors kind of person. Why did I apply for this? All the “what if’s” played in my head. Then I reminded myself…Monique, this is an amazing opportunity! It’s time…time to Be Yourself. Be Confident. Be Brave.