I am a true lover of shopping. Not just spending money, although that’s fun too. But, I am completely happy “just looking” in a mall filled to the brim with fashion, beauty products, shoes, and accessories. Even without buying a thing. I’m not talking about window shopping. I need to actually feel the merchandise and check out its quality. And not just plus size stores either; I make my way into any retail space. Until a few weeks ago.
I was at a Los Angeles area shopping mall and was stopped dead in my tracks before I even stepped foot into this high end boutique. It’s like I just froze. I couldn’t walk in.
Maybe it was the sales associates who eyed me up and down as I peered into the store. I know I haven’t felt this way since I was a teen. I was visiting my uncle who worked at Barneys New York in Beverly Hills. There was this sense of knowing that you just don’t belong in there. I have always prided myself of being a confident curvy woman. But, how could I be intimidated? What was I worried about? Not being able to afford anything in there or just the fact that I don’t fit into their clothes?
Then I started to think. Maybe I’m just worried about being judged by those in the store. Whether it was the discriminating sales associates or the platinum credit card carrying customer, no one wants to be judged. But, after all these years of curvy shopping…why now? Am I the only one who has felt this way?
I haven’t been back since, but I know that the only way to get over it is to just walk in and act like I own the place. I’m not going to let this “shopping while fat” get to me. I have as much right as anyone else to be in that store. Maybe my confidence did take a little dip that day, for whatever reason. But, I know in my heart that I can’t I let someone elses prejudices stop me from being who I am.
Remember to “Stay curvaliscious, confident, and courageous.”
FYI: I’m wearing the Evolution by JMS™ Smocked Chain Top ($13.99). Courtesy of Just My Size.